Monday, January 21, 2013

Happiness is not.

Happiness is not elusive
She does not hide, requiring you to open doors looking for her.
Happiness is not jealous.
She does not react to you spending all your time with other emotions.
Happiness is not demanding.
She will not require a laundry list of things to make her stay.
Happiness is not boastful.
She will not kiss and tell, she will not tell everyone that you've found her.
Happiness is not insecure.
Once you see her for who she is, she will not begin to doubt.
Happiness is not outside.
She is sitting right inside of you, comfortable, meditative.
The day you turn inward and see her, embrace her...
Her eyes will light and all she will say is "I'm so happy that you've found me."
Happiness is not possessive.
She will not pull you in her direction if you choose to walk away.
But with all that she is, and all that she is not, why would you?

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Two little girls.

"Clearly, you've been drinking."

This was Julie's response when I texted her and told her I'd like to start up a blog together with her. You see, we used to share a blog when I first moved away from her and our adventures in Maryland back in the year 2001. I remembered how fun it used to be loading up my web browser to see she'd written on our old blog and then to write something of my own. It was something we could create together.

We used to create memories by the truckload. Listening to Abra Moore cleaning her old military house. Failing to see Nelly Furtado although we tried really hard. Laser tag in pigtails. Driving to Georgetown. Smoking cloves. Stopping to buy cartons of milk because Julie could only take pills with milk. Being mommies together. Listening to Disturbd and Linkin Park at the gym. She was the left and and I was the right hand. We were like Bonnie and Clyde except we were both Bonnie and nobody got hurt.

So, now over a decade later, I live in Brooklyn, New York and she lives in Austin-ish, Texas and I miss my friend. Miles and limitations keep us from creating as many memories as I would like. Though she did fly to New York City for my housewarming (apartment warming?) party last year and that was kick ass. But the point here is, I needed to create with Julie again.

We both decided to pick a word that was a central theme for us in the new year and we'd combine them to make our new blog name. Her word was courage. My word was authentic. We realized when we put them together, Courageously Authentic, not only was it a compound of our two words but something really meaningful, and really us. So that worked out well. And here we are again, full circle.

"I'll only do it if you promise to write", she said.

So here I am.